I recently came to terms with how poorly I do with change. It’s bad, you guys. To make matters worse, instead of pushing into the Lord, I tend to stray. I get stuck in my worldly fears and stress and forget about my relationship with my Deliverer.
I recently started a new job (my very first Big Kid Job!), and gosh has it been slow to start. Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely and utterly excited and grateful to be here. But to be perfectly honest, these past three weeks have been hard you guys. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I have had more down time than anything else, and I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. It has been hard moving away from Tom. Real hard. Much harder than expected. I also don’t know anyone here, so it has been pretty lonely. I got stuck in my head and started to drown in negativity, and I began to question my purpose (only it wasn’t quite as dramatic as it sounds written out here).
Thankfully, our God is pretty incredible. He provides. He delivers us. He is constantly moving in our lives; working in us, with us and for us. Most of all, He loves us.
Tom and I found a new church in my new home, and the message last Sunday was pretty great. The church is doing a study on Colossians, and this message was about Preeminence. Don’t worry – I had to look it up too. It’s the idea of superiority and greatness. Pretty cool, right? Our God is the best (and only) God. He reigns over all. He is our Deliverer, our rock and our Father.
You know how I said I stray from the Lord in big transitions? And that I lost my purpose? Well, in turns out the two go hand in hand.
for in Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.
All things have been created through Him and for Him. Our purpose is in the Lord. Our purpose doesn’t come from jobs or hobbies. It can’t be found in relationships with people or significant others, no matter how wonderful those relationships are.
Our purpose is in the Lord.
My job is a calling. It is an opportunity to live fully for Christ. It is a response to the Gospel, but it is not preeminent – it does not reign supreme in my life. My relationship with Tom gives me such incredible joy. I believe the Lord brought us together to live in Him and work for the Kingdom. I love Tom with my whole heart, but our relationship is not preeminent. It is an opportunity to exemplify the Gospel.
As hard as I might try, I will never fully find my purpose in my career or in my relationship. I find my purpose in the Lord. I have to hold fast in Jesus; remain steadfast and stable in the Gospel. When I fully submit to the Lord and really, truly respond to the Gospel – gosh, that is when I feel filled with life and purpose. That is when I am living the way Christ calls me to live.
Life update: I mentioned I moved and started a new job, well that’s because I finally graduated with my master’s degree! Yay! That explains why I haven’t posted in a while. Grad school is hard, you guys. Moving forward, I plan to blog weekly. The new church we have been going to is doing really great things, and I’m learning and growing weekly. The goal is to share that with you all! But, I am starting my first real job, so I might miss a post here and there. If you’re in the St. Louis area and in need of a church home, I’d encourage you to check out City Lights Church, it’s real good stuff you guys. Anyways, pray that I’m able to find my purpose in my Creator and that the Lord continues to use me to be a light for His Kingdom. Pray that my relationship with Tom continues to strengthen and that we always strive to live with and for the Lord.
for He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.